News: An insert credit review of Sega's Yakuza, produced by toshihiro nagoshi with voices by mark hamill

September 13, 2006, 11:33 AM

by brandon, via the touch -
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yakuza.jpgIt was conducted by tim rogers and brandon sheffield, with eric-jon rössel waugh assisting, just around this time last year, in tokyo in front of a Don Quijote. The game wasn't even out yet, so we had to wait til now to show it. See here.

Atlus' Nich Maragos says of our review: "That review seems pretty fair. I think you have a better understanding of what the game was trying to accomplish than a lot of people."

Kohnke Communications' Rannie Yoo said, "Oh! Alright."

Backbone Entertainment's Thomas Grové of Backbone Entertainment had this to say, "This interview draws many insightful parallels between Yakuza and Gene Kelly's 1952 classic Singin' in the Rain."

Surreal Software's Jim Shepard was heard to remark, "ok ok ok, I am being pulled away from my desk." So smitten was he by the onslaught of quality!

Jarik Sikat of Koei remarked, "I'm relieved that no one lost a finger to cover this story." - but is it true!? Find out within!

Wired Magazine's Chris Baker inquired: "Excuse me, do either of you sure-footed gentlemen know where I can find some sailors?"

Games Radar's Christian Nutt reminisced: "It's almost like playing Yakuza, which is almost like being there. Last time I went to Don Quijote I bought a towel, and it brings back those memories."

Ian Adams of GameHouse mentioned that "Brandon Sheffield is a XXX man. That's what you don't realize during most reviews." But what does the XXX mean? Sexy? Amazingly talented? Only clicking can teach you!

Tom Drake of LucasArts says, "I found this review a bit harsh, although quite honest. I hope more reviews in the future use some form of emotional expression as well."

Brad Johnson from Crystal Dynamics raved: "breathtaking... I'm speechless..." - miraculously, he was still able to type.

Indie developer Sony Green of Puppy Gang (and ex-LucasArts) said, "I haven't been this aroused since they captured jonbeney ramsey's kidnapper/murderer." - keep in mind that this man is completely bald.

The Behemoth's goddamned president John Baez said, "I'm not sure how brandon and crew achieved the amazing game-like spinning background which plays thoughtfully throughout the review, but this is certainly what next-gen is all about." - Nobody's righter than this man!

Holy-crap-actually-from-SEGA Jennie Sue said, "Tokyo is lots of fun. I like Don Quijote and batting cages." - thereby proving this is the most important review of Sega's Yakuza ever in perpetuity throughout the universe.