Feature: Tim's Tokyo Game Show

October 13, 2003 10:45 PM PST

So these are the perhaps soon to be infamous TGS videos, taken by Tim on the show floor. Those that I highly recommend are accompanied by some lil asterixes. Those that I think aren’t necessarily life altering are marked by dashes. Unmarked videos have some good business, some alright business. Bear in mind that an asterix does not necessarily mean funny! It may simply be vital for the progression of the ‘story.’ The longest videos are noted as such. And I should mention – there are photo galleries to go with each day. It might be a good idea to keep this open while watching the videos, as there’s a lot of supplemental info contained therein.

So let’s get into it.

Day One

MOV02230 - TGS show floor aerial view. ---

MOV02268 - An SNK employee plays metal slug on a cellphone. Tim freaks out. ---


Only two show-floor videos today. Tim has been invited to a Koei press conference at Disney Sea, which is where our video journey picks up once more.


MOV02281 – Tim discovers that Koei was just purchased by Disney, and the evening begins. Here, he has his first of many glasses of applejuice. Footage is taken of Dynasty Warriors 3, before tim surveys the food/spread. There will be a banquet. “Kinda lonely in here.” *** 9 minutes

MOV02282 - "I am so freaked out right now".

MOV02283 – A short bit of a speech by a frightening 'classic evil' anime lady. She reads English from a paper.

MOV02290 - "I guess that's all there is to it."

MOV02291 – It’s the shortest press conference EVAR. Tim decides to look for a bathroom instead of talking to anybody.

MOV02292 - Bathroom espionage, in which Tim sneaks up on a maid. ***

MOV02293 – Vegetarians beware, there's squid in the goddamned bread! ***

MOV02294 - Filming the pianist. Tim thinks she could beat him up in one punch.

MOV02295 - "I think I'm drunk. I think that wasn't applejuice." Not to mention, a Frenchman stole Tim’s umbrella. ***

MOV02311 - Tim surveys the pre-fireworks scene. ---

MOV02325 - Disney Sea fireworks show, Mickey Mouse speaks bone-chilling Japanese. ***

Day Two

MOV02326 – An intro to TGS and Tim’s show buddy Chuck Franklin. There’s talk of slimes and Tim’s commerce. Computer screen features prominently.

MOV02327 – The gang freaks Shadow the HELL out. Sonic arrives and Shadow runs out of the building. ***

MOV02328 - The Square Enix slimes. ---

MOV02329 - Cosplay extravaganza, featuring Final Fantasy post modernity.

MOV02333 – Tim begins reviewing the cosplayers. Tifa's boobs are too small.

MOV02334 - insert credit word of the day - halloween cleavage. ***

MOV02335 - Taking pictures of people taking pictures of cosplayers. Tim mentions that he likes a girl with a lolipop. "I didn't come to the tokyo game show to be outside." Hell, he just stole four black coffees from a convenience mart, he can do what he wants. ***

MOV02336 - Rope ridiculosity.

MOV02338 - Tim discovers a typo in Taito's signage. ---

MOV02339 - Tim asks a Taito roadie about the 'shumilator'. The roadie doesn't get it. Thinks it's simply easier to say. Thinks perhaps it's 'hobby simulator', as shumi means hobby. Video mostly in Japanese.

MOV02340 – In which tim finds proof that Simulator is the proper word and overuses the term ‘j0dy.’ ***

MOV02342 - The yelling of Gackt, and the playing of music. GACKT! "let's go make some more stereotypical references to asian things."

MOV02343 - The TGS shops. ---

MOV02344 – Introduction to the new Sammy line of controllers, and touching the bunny girl's tail. ***

MOV02345 - The payoff. ***

MOV02347 - Gatchaforce video.

MOV02348 - Kotorisu and waiting for Uchiyama. ---

MOV02351 - Talking with Uchiyama - he introduces his new game...almost.

MOV02368 - TGS kids' corner - WHERE IS EVERYBODY???

MOV02369 - Battle Excel is a wacky game in toilet bowl. ---

MOV02370 - "Japan is a country that loves it's toilets". Tim mentions that some people are updating their websites with content about some guy who made a game. Meanwhile we are covering toys in a bowl! Tim and Chuck play as Blue. "Take that little Japanese schoolchildren!" *** 11 mins

MOV02373 – "In the future!!" *** (Brandon Sheffield’s Video of Show)

MOV02374 - Tim and the slimes.

MOV02375 – Post day-2 discussion at Tenya. This is the awards portion of the program. Tim makes a clever dig at Doug Jones (watch this video if you don’t get the joke). White guys a'speakin the Japanese. Some awards: Best trailer - MGS III. Best giant robot game - Gatchaforce. Biggest surprise - *inaudible game* - which is apparently like Diablo on a bike. Then they award lots of other stuff, like best booth babe, best game for each console, best non-game. Young Gatt is the game of show. Follows it up with an accurate dig at brandon sheffield. Maybe if he hadn’t said it, I’d have finished this faster! HAH! But probably not. *** 18 mins

Day Three

MOV02377 - Some white guy speaks, Tim discusses translators. ---

MOV02378 - Get kojima - "begin stalking".

MOV02392 – A discussion of guerilla journalism.

MOV02393 – More on why Young Gatt is game of show. The kids try to get an xbox pillow, mentions that Japan hates them, and the decision is made to go on stealing SNK shirts. As a nice aside, Tim takes time out to make a personal message to the IRC folks. There is much discussion of 'the magic' and the plan to steal an SNK box. All plans abandoned, the fellows regroup and return to HQ. *** 18 mins

MOV02394 - Tim tries to get slimes, but apparently they'll sell them later when the game's released. HQ is returned to. Tim loves him some Young Gatt.

MOV02395 - Square Enix - "don't matter what you've got, as long as you're Square Enix". Tim begins headbanging, because there's nothing like ancient Chinese history to hard rock. A helpful reminder is offered: off-color cleavage is not attractive. He finds a fellow with a Kakuto Choujin shirt, as we witness stripping for Xbox bags. ***

MOV02396 – Tim and Chuck meet the only Xbox fans in Japan, Halo lovers that they are. Tim wants a microphone, not satisfied with just the pillow.

MOV02398 – Here we have a tour of nearly the entire game show floor in 26 mins 26 secs, while looking at nothing. They stop to play Top Banana, a German board game. ---

MOV02407 – So where's the magic? Where did FFDOG go? He met them at the station, went crazy, but then he ran off.

MOV02409 - Uchiyama asks if they got Kojima. Tim indicates that he did not. Mostly just audio, all in Japanese. Tim advertises Young Gatt to Uchiyama.

MOV02418 – Our pal Uchiyama asks what they did today? They made strange movies, and Tim thinks he has a collapsed lung. --- 6 minutes

MOV02420 - Tim wants to get into GTA III. The problem is, he’s got no ID and only folks 18 and over can get in. Tim says whenever he goes to the movies, he says he's a student to get cheaper tickets. Now he’s getting the bait and switch. Dude won't let him in - tim says "I don't have ID, but I have money!"

Explains that he interviewed several Capcom heads previously. To no avail. "you can walk into AMPM and buy a comic book of 3 year old girls getting raped by octopi, but fake guns have to be shown behind a curtain.” 7 minutes

MOV02421 - operation freak out Squenix, which seems to consist of…not freaking out Squenix. Tim keeps eying the slimes, but seems a'scared, the poor bastard. 7 minutes

Day Four

MOV02431 – A post TGS discussion over iced cream, at the Baskin Robbins. Can’t hear a damn thing, but it’s 12 minutes long, and probably full of some sort of information.

Yeah, so that’s the report. Did you remember to Feel the Fury? If not, please go back and try again.

Brandon Sheffield, for Tim Rogers – out.