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Number two:
I screamed through my teeth in the middle of the Monstro level in Kingdom Hearts. The camera, the fact that all my teammates were dead again, the fact that the game kept fading out to show cutscenes . . .
When I think back on videogames and 2002, this memory almost pushes out Metroid Prime. Thankfully, it doesn't succeed.
Growing to hate Kingdom Hearts was something that marked me as a gamer in 2002. That precise artery-popping moment I came to hate the game will stick out forever. At the time, all I was feeling was anger and hatred. Now, when I think back on it, I feel sad about Kingdom Hearts.
It was the first game I ever sold back to a store. I sold it back to buy Shenmue II for Xbox. I just didn't want to see it anymore. I regret doing that.
I feel like, with selling back my copy of Kingdom Hearts, I have sold back my love of Squaresoft. I couldn't believe I was doing such a thing. I took my credit voucher, the Funcoland girl smiled, and told me,
"That works just like cash, at any Funcoland -- worldwide."
My body almost crumbled.
I've been accused, because of my ranting about Kingdom Hearts, of disliking Disney, or disliking Square, or disliking both. I've been told, "If you don't like the game, don't play it."
Really, I look forward to Final Fantasy X-2. I loved Final Fantasy X. And I believe Shigeru Miyamoto's Gamecube Zelda is sheer brilliance both in form and aesthetics.
Yet, when I think of Kingdom Hearts, I think of growing up. And not just because it involves our wackiest speech-impedimented childhood friends Donald and Goofy -- no, because I am now above games like it. I will not play Kingdom Hearts 2. I have become more discerning about the things I play.
More than ever, I belong writing for Insert Credit.
Kingdom Hearts is an immature game for the same reasons that Grand Theft Auto: Vice City is a mature game: not because of violence or lack thereof -- because of presentation, and execution, and handling. Because of the way it views its audience.
The people who make these games choose whether they want to pander to their audience or entertain them. Thank you, Rockstar, for genuinely wanting to entertain the hell out of me.
Shame on you, Tetsuya Nomura. I've got my eye on you from now on.
Somewhere, if only that one somewhere, you'll always be as good as cash.
[last: number one: and the moons of jupiter did spin one last time]
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