With Insert Credit's tireless resolve to reach out to whoever it is we're reaching out to, foster a tight knit community of ascii text posts and email correspondences between presumable human beings who will likely never meet face to face, and to cover whatever the hell we happen to feel like, it seems odd - no, utterly dumbfuckingfounding, as my grandmother used to say - that the site has no column. Well, no more, I say.

Or I could just say that Insert Credit's about to have a semi-regular column of sorts. Whichever more tickles your grammar maven fancy. I could even call this new column the Next Evolution of the Web Column. I could say that video games have evolved, and it's about time that game columns do as well. I could say both of those things and a number more, but I'm not some Silicon Valley conquistador pitching my half-baked idea to a roomful of excessively monied fat venture capitalist fucks whose stomachs look like they're preparing to make their break even if they have to take the asshole's whole fucking gut with them.

I'm not pitching, I'm informing. Informing you, my reader non-friend, that Insert Credit will from here on out have its own wacky brand of column. The insanely astute amongst you will have noted that I've not referred to this new column as a "letter column", and that despite my penchant for self-aggrandizement I've not even gone ahead and called myself its host.

Let me fill you in.

This new column will not use letters at all. Rather, I've gone ahead and set up a new forum on the message boards entitled Force Feedback. It makes sense when you consider that this is what I've deemed to coin the column. Within that column are three sticky-ified subforums: one where the latest topic is to be discussed, one for you goofs to post whatever inanities you see fit, and one for you to suggest topics of your own which I will likely ignore. Now let me patronize you by breaking that down into three subheadings and explaining further.

  • The topic du jour: the first post will always be the topic I'd like all y'all to discuss. The column won't be updated on any specific day of the week. I'll simply wait for a good amount of discussion to coalesce and then cull from this thread the posts I think will make for the best column. This kills two birds with one stone. First, all of you will be able to post assertions and rebuttals, making the column substantially more interactive and organic than is possible with the standard letter/response format. Second, I won't have to deal with the copious amounts of junk mail posting my email address within the column means.
  • Inanities: running a tight ship is for losers. If there's anything that spices up a Web column, it's the incoherent ramblings and frothing fandom the 'Net seems to demand of its denizens. I'm giving you free license to post anything you want, regardless of obsenity, offensiveness, and/or relevance. Make me proud.
  • Suggest a topic: you get the idea. Despite accusations of which orifice I prefer to keep my finger firmly entrenched in, I do strive to keep it on the gaming pulse. This is a great way for me to do so. If you come up with an especially thought-provoking topic, or happen upon some nonsense that grabs me by the eyeballs and makes me say, hey, that's a good idea for a topic, I'll run with it.

Dig? Good. Now why don't you just hop on over to the forums, where I've got the latest topic-prompting rant a-waitin', and help me get this ball rolling. Here's a hint: it's all about the Nintendo DS.

-Drew

There I was minding my own business when all at once I had a subjective experience