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They're going to make a Metroid movie? A movie?
With, like, dialogue and stuff? What the hell is going on here? I mean,
Metroid isn't a movie -- it's a VIDEOGAME! Damn you, Gamers.com, for reporting this blasphemy,
even though it isn't your fault.
On a brighter note, the Gamers.com story is reported by Jeff "Lucky"
Lundrigan, whose review of Final Fantasy III in Game Players got me
thinking more seriously about games all the way back at age fourteen. He
starts the review by saying he has had a "deep hole" inside himself for
many years, one he tried to fill with "food, alcohol, and countless
women." That someone could mention something like that in a game review,
and all the way back in 1994 -- it makes reading about a Metroid
movie in 2003 feel a little wrong.
Hell, you know I'll go see it, though.
I wonder what requirements they're looking for in a screenwriter . . . I
could keep it under four hours, I promise . . .<Editor's note: only make promises you can keep!>
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Nintendo's releasing a new system in 2006, according to
CNN. And they want it to come out alongside the next PlayStation
incarnation. It's nice to see that Nintendo thinks they're not good
enough for us. Kind of like it's nice to see that they care so much and
so publicly about changing their "kiddy" image. We adore that kind of
self-esteem in our Japanese corporations, don't we?
Then again, if NEC is making the chips for the new Nintendo, well --
they've just captured the $300-something dollars of hardcore types like
Brandon Sheffield, that's for sure.
<Editor's note: he's right. Scott Mollett and I had this discussion before the Dreamcast came out, when different companies were bidding to make the chip. His question; if NEC, Sega and MS all had their own versions of the DC, which would you buy? I'll leave it to you to figure that one out.>
If they really want this thing to sell, they'll just put a naked BMX game
on it. And use the "F" word a lot. That'd get me to open my wallet.
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